


Swimming Isn't Everything

by tardistype221b (TardisType221b)



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 07:36:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5576956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisType221b/pseuds/tardistype221b
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sousuke's chance at a professional swimming career is over since he got injured from over training and he's enrolled at Samezuka Academy so he could be close to Rin again. But he never expected that he'd have to tell him what happened so soon and he doesn't want to lose him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Swimming Isn't Everything

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rin_Matsuoka_Senpaii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rin_Matsuoka_Senpaii/gifts).



> For admin Sousuke in the Samezuka_Senpais group chat on kik for our Secret Santa.

When Sousuke arrived at the Samezuka Academy campus, he knew that this would be his last chance. He had been training for years to swim better, to one day be good enough to face Rin in competition. But of course, he ruined it.

He felt the brace that he wore under his clothes, supporting his shoulder, taking the strain off. He hated wearing it, every minute reminding him of how much he had failed. He had been such an idiot and it had cost him his chance with Rin.

Just being here, was both amazing and torturous. Especially since Rin was his roommate, according to his room assignment. He either had the best or the worst luck, Sousuke couldn't decide.

He stood outside the room door. It was time. He knocked, and Rin opened the door. He looked even more beautiful than Sousuke remembered. He was updated semi-regularly on Rin from Gou, but hastily taken selfies couldn't match Rin's beauty right now, even if he was lazily dressed in sweatpants and a tank top, his red hair disheveled.

"Sousuke!" Rin exclaimed in surprise and hugged him. "What are you doing here?"

"I just transferred here and I'm your new roommate," Sousuke explained, once Rin released him from the hug.

"You did? Cool. So I guess that's why Nitori moved out," Rin remarked, moving back to his bed, sitting on the bottom bunk. He gestured for Sousuke to sit beside him.

"Nitori?" Sousuke questioned.

"My old roommate. He's on the swim team, a bit annoying but I liked him well enough. Speaking of swimming, I'm the captain of the swim team now, you'll have to take a time trial to prove you're good enough, but that's just a formality, I'm sure you'll be fine," Rin rambled, but Sousuke froze. He wasn't expecting to have to tell Rin so early... Would he have to tell him? Sousuke thought about hiding his injury, he could swim decently enough for now.

Rin would accept him, he'd be on the swim team. They'd compete and it would be amazing, something he hadn't experienced in so long. But that wouldn't last for long...Rin would find out. He would get angry. He would leave him behind for not being able to keep up.

But would that be worse than telling him now?

No, he had to. At least he could get it over with, instead of prolonging the torture and risk making his shoulder even worse. At least now he had a chance to recover properly. A chance to be able to prove himself to Rin again. But that would be a long time coming. For now, he had to deal with losing Rin, just when he had worked so hard.

"Rin," Sousuke interjected, cutting him off mid ramble.

"Sousuke? What is it?"

"I'm not-I'm not joining the swim team."

"What?" Rin exclaimed, looking at Sousuke in surprise. "Why not?"

"Because I can't," Sousuke replied. It was hard saying this.

"Why not?" Rin questioned.

"Because of this!" Sousuke exclaimed, pulling at the collar of his shirt so that the brace he wore was revealed. "I'm injured, okay? I threw my shoulder while swimming, and they said- they said I can't swim competitively anymore. For a few years at least. It's over Rin. I worked so damn hard, just to even get to your level and now it's ruined."

"Sousuke..." Rin said, trailing off. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what he would do if he was told he couldn't swim anymore, swimming was his life, it was his everything.

"It's okay," Sousuke said, with a practiced ease. And it was... he would be fine without swimming. But he wouldn't be fine without Rin. The only thing on his mind the past few years he had been training was to get better, so that when Rin came back from Australia, he would be with him.

"How is it okay?" Rin exclaimed. "You ruined your shoulder! Sousuke how could you do that to yourself?"

"I know...I'm sorry." Sousuke knew he deserved this. All the yelling and shouting that Rin would dole out. He had messed up.

"Sousuke, you idiot!"

"I'll go now if you want..." Sousuke said, trying to placate him, but that stopped Rin dead in his tracks.

"Go?" He questioned. "Why would I want you to go?" Sousuke sighed. Of course Rin would make him say it.

"It's obvious isn't it." Sousuke said. "I can't swim anymore. I would hold you back."

 _Here it comes._ Sousuke thought, bracing himself.

"What?" Rin exclaimed. "Why would you think something-something so stupid!"

 _Huh?_ Sousuke thought, caught off guard. Why would Rin say that?

"I don't understand."

"What do you mean you don't understand?" Rin exclaimed.

"I can't swim Rin. What use do you have for me to be around you? All I've been doing was trying to get good enough so that I could be worthy of competing with you, and I can't even do that." Sousuke sighed. "Swimming is everything to you, and now I can't swim. What else am I supposed to think?"

Rin was speechless. He didn't realize that Sousuke really felt this way. That he felt that Rin would just...throw him away if he wasn't at his level anymore.

"Sousuke...I wouldn't. I wouldn't want you to leave because you can't swim! You're still my friend! Swimming isn't everything, Sousuke! I still care about you. That's not going to change."

Sousuke couldn't believe it.

"Rin..." He looked up and saw tears streaming down Rin's face. "Rin please don't cry." He knew Rin could get over emotional but this was ridiculous.

"You think that you don't mean anything to me!" Rin exclaimed. "You think that when you need me the most, when you're injured, that I would just give up on you. How could I not feel like shit?"

Sousuke didn't know what to say. This wasn't going at all like he thought. He thought by now he would either be on his way to the Residence office to request a change in rooms, or be given the silent treatment by Rin. All of this happening...it was a complete surprise.

"Are you not going to say anything?" Rin asked indignantly.

"What do you want me to say?" Sousuke asked.

"How about, _No Rin, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that_ , to start with. Oh wait, you can't because you did! You did mean it!" Rin exclaimed. "I know I can be really selfish at times, I know that I didn't really keep in touch with you when I was away, but did all of that give you the impression that I was...that much of an asshole?" Rin asked, his voice low.

"What? Rin! No!" Sousuke exclaimed in surprise, trying to comfort him. "You're not an asshole Rin. I just didn't want to hold you back, I'm sorry." Sousuke apologized. He nervously moved closer to Rin, stiffly wrapping his arms around him, afraid that he would be rejected at any moment. "Please don't be angry with me." He begged. "I just wanted what was best for you."

"And you thought this what was best?" Rin scoffed.

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"You think too little of yourself, Sousuke." Maybe he did, but Sousuke knew that even though he had gotten so lucky to still be able to be friends with Rin, that didn't mean he could win his heart.

"I think a lot of you." Rin continued. "More than I should." Rin muttered under his breath.

"What?" Sousuke asked, he couldn't hear what Rin had said. Rin jerked, struggling against Sousuke's hold on him. Sousuke let him go watching as he turned away from him. But he could see the flush on Rin's cheeks. Sousuke didn't understand. Why would Rin react that way towards him? It's not like Rin liked him. That would never happen. It was probably an aftereffect of all the crying.

"Are you okay, Rin?" Sousuke asked.

"I'm fine." Rin snapped.

"Are you sure?" Sousuke asked. He was worried.

"I'm fine okay?" Rin said harshly. Sousuke was taken aback, maybe Rin had changed his mind after all?

"I'm sorry." Rin apologized. "I didn't mean to snap. You want the bottom bunk right?"

"Uhhh..." Sousuke trailed off. He saw that Rin had made his bed on the bottom bunk already, but the bottom would be better for him so that he wouldn't have to climb up the ladder with his busted shoulder.

"Whatever you want Rin." Sousuke said trying to appease him.

"Ok, you have to stop doing that Sousuke." Rin said.

"Doing what?" Sousuke asked.

"You can't just let me do whatever I want."

"It doesn't really matter..."

"Yes it does!" Rin exclaimed.

"Why?"

"Because I like you Sousuke, and you show up at my doorstep after so many years, ready to just let me walk all over you again! I don't want that!"

"You...you what?" Sousuke asked shocked. Rin liked him? Did he mean...in that way?

"I don't want that Sousuke! You're my friend. It was obvious by the way you looked that you wanted the bottom bunk. You can have it. It's probably better for your shoulder anyway."

Rin got up off the bed, and made to take off the sheets when he stopped dead in his tracks. "Sousuke...?"

"Yes, Rin?" Sousuke replied.

"How many times have you done this?"

"Done what?"

"Let me walk all over you." Rin explained. Sousuke didn't know what to say. That was just how he and Rin were. Rin was the star, shining bright, with an adoring gaggle of friends and hanger ons, while Sousuke was in his shadow, always a step behind, constantly fighting for a place at Rin's side. A place that Haruka had won without even trying.

"Oh god..." Rin trailed off. "I've been the shittiest person haven't I? I'm so sorry."

No. This was wrong. Rin shouldn't be sad about this.

"I've been taking advantage of you..." Rin continued.

"Rin..." Sousuke said.

"It's true!" Rin exclaimed. "The way I've been acting made you feel that I would get rid of you because you can't swim."

"How could I do that to you...?" Sousuke heard Rin mutter under his breath as he turned away from him. Sousuke placed a hand on Rin's shoulder, gently turning him to face him.

"You never meant to, so it's okay Rin." Sousuke attempted to reassure him.

"When are you going to get it through your thick skull you idiot! It’s not okay for me to treat you this way! And it's not okay for you to just accept it. I like you so much and I made you believe that I couldn't give less of a shit about you!"

"You what...?" Sousuke said in shock. Rin had said it before but Sousuke didn't really believe it.

"Shit." Rin sighed. "I like you Sousuke, okay? I've liked you for awhile but I was too focused on my swimming and my own bullshit to really see what I put you through. I'm sorry."

"Wait...you like me?" Sousuke asked again. He couldn’t believe it. He hadn't ruined everything after all!

"Yeah...sorry if that made you uncomfortable." Rin said.

"What? No!" Sousuke exclaimed. Rin liked him, he wasn't about to throw this chance away. "Rin, I like you too."

Rin froze, staring at Sousuke, eyes wide open in shock. After a moment they started laughing.

"We really let all our bullshit get in the way of everything huh?" Rin said after they finished.

"Yeah." Sousuke said with a small smile. "But we figured it out eventually, I guess."

"Does this mean I can kiss you now?" Rin asked. Sousuke nodded not trusting himself to speak, the smile never leaving his face. Rin stood on his tiptoes and pressed a chaste kiss onto Sousuke's lips. Sousuke wrapped his arms around Rin pulling him closer. Rin was his now, and he wasn't letting him go.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Sorry if it's ooc. Writing Sousuke is not my strong suit.


End file.
